QUESTION
Picture: PEXELS-Ann- H-45
Why create Cre8self.com?
Mainly because I was tired of not being ME. I wanted a place to put ME. I wanted a place where all the different parts of me might help myself and maybe others who are trying to find our true selves and purpose.
I feel there are a lot of us at this point in our lives right now who are looking for more of who we truly are. I also know not everyone is ready, or able, at this point to step out of their own preconceived notions of who they call Self, which I call “the Box”. I’m planting seeds in the soil that may grow in time with care and watering for myself and maybe others.
THE BOX
There are no actual road maps to help us understand how to step out of our Box called Self. We’re put in our Box from childhood by parents, family and society. It grows and changes from there with everyone we meet and every experience we have. In particular, the Box consists of all the shoulds, coulds, maybes, and, in particular, the shouldn’ts, can’ts and have to’s in our life.
In business we create websites, blogs and life stories that are supposed to represent us. In reality we create them to look like what we think our clients and people we meet can understand us to be. Marketing calls it creating a Niche. In this creation process we give up much of our own words, thoughts, and basic concepts of how we approach things in life, plus so much more of who we are. Sometimes we actually give up the heart and soul of who we are to be other peoples perception of our life and profession.
That usually leaves out a lot of our extra accredited training, life experiences and gifts that don’t fit into the understood picture of what our society and industry thinks our life and career should be. The heart of how we got to be who we are is lost. Only the business line, the Niche, is allowed to show.
THE GIFT
With the disruption of life surrounding all the circumstances from 4+ years of the Covid 19 Pandemic I was faced with another round of self reflection for myself. I have found myself at a place of totally beginning to turn toward stillness and silence in ways that I had never imagined before, inside and outside of me. I’m looking for more of ME. Not what out there thinks I should be. I’m back at the beginning of another chapter of my life.
Now from the shamanic perspective, which I walk, my community should be celebrating my having reached this point in my journey. It’s said in that world that I have transcended a point of my ego to some extent. But to tell someone this in the Western world they think you’re looney. It can be a very lonely scary perspect to face the unknown You with no directions or support. So many people question whether to even begin the journey..
I acknowledge to myself that I haven’t really known who I thought I was for 2 years. Which is actually somewhat disconcerting to wake up one day to feeling in your heart and soul that you know absolutely nothing and asking if you’re a fake.
Of course I know what I’ve done in my life and career that I’ve called Me all these years. Yet no matter how much I have achieved or how many client references I receive, there is this feeling of uncertainty and incompleteness. Who am I really? What pieces are missing?
MISSING CONNECTION
About a year ago I began to glimpse that it wasn’t knowledge & skills I was missing. It’s the truth inside me and my real connections to who I am at a soul level that I’m missing. That anchor inside of me that I am real and more than I think I am at levels I can’t even imagine yet. That’s the missing link. That’s the Who What Why.
I’ve worked in the traditional business world for over 30 years, was married for 29 of those years and had a business as an Energetic healer, life coach, teacher, & psychic for an additional 24 years. I have moved a zillion times. I’m now 75 years old and asking now what? Who am I really?
INTENT
My intention is to look deeper inside myself to discover a more authentic part of me and share it in a way that may help others who are also arriving at a crossroads in their lives. A part that stretches farther into my being and allows me to step beyond my Box I’ve called Self. Call it an open journal to myself that I’ve decided I need to share. Maybe I’m hoping it will make me more honest with myself to invite you to come along with me. Maybe that’s not honest at all. All I know is that I really want to do it this way.
Something different and new is needed! Can’t tell you what that means. All I know is that this journey begins inside of me, not out there like the other parts of me did. I have to find inside of me first or, at least in conjunction with, in order to walk whatever this new means. That is where all of our real journey’s begin, inside us.
ACTIONS
Inside me feels like stories and real life, teachings and unstable moments all coming out on paper at the same time. I have been creating words and art, but it comes out of me slowly. Perhaps wrapped in the inner lining of my truth there will be answers for me to gather strength to keep going on this Self exploration. It’s an invention of a path of real life hunting for SELF. You’re welcome to join. Perhaps there are pieces you recognize here and there along the way.
It won’t be all fun and games. I question everything about me right now and self reflection hurts. The beautiful and ugly are rising up right there along with the tears, the anger, the laughter and the memories. A real mess I can assure you. But the clearing has begun.
How far will I get? Wherever I get to. Can I help others with my words as I climb through this unknown? Only the future knows.
May the truth inside you find peace and love to guide you on your journey, where ever it may take you.
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