LITTLE KNOWN BEGINNINGS
I began drawing a tree to represent the aspects of the different parts of me and the directions I think I can go next in my life. You know what I mean. This is where I am now. Where can I go from here? How do I get there? The usual array of change questions we all ask ourselves.
My thought was it would go with my next blog post where I would toss content in about how confusion can clutter your mind with too many ideas, etc. Then I planned to add some information on how to sort it all out. You get the picture. That sort of stuff.
AND THEN…
Surprise, the above picture tells you what I got. It grew into an unanchored tree with the face of a monkey. I didn’t deliberately do the face. It just sort of took shape as I was trying to form the trunk with an image in it. I had no particular image in mind, just let the pencil flow and, Presto, there it was.
When I realized what I was looking at my first thought was, “Oh my God. I’ve just drawn the face of Hanuman, the Hindu God. How perfect. I love the wind and I could sure use the protection and guidance right now.” Then I looked him up to see what else he represented.
HANUMAN

Hanuman is represented by a Vanara (monkey) and is thought to be the son of Vayu (the wind). He often symbolizes the over active state of mind we call the Monkey Mind. In addition he symbolizes pure devotion, complete surrender, lack of ego or lower self (subconscious), as well as representing the subtle bodies of the breath body, the mental body and intelligence body. However, in his case of representing the lower self he becomes a symbol of the animal nature of man which has been refined and transformed into the nature of God to serve in total surrender. He is a fierce warrior and protector as well.
I could identify with the monkey mind, no problem. The rest? Not so much. So what was I telling myself or was it Spirit sending me a message? Had I unwittingly asked for something different than a drawing of directions? It would appear so. I definitely got more than I bargained for.
So here I am ready to write my brilliant blog post for you yet I am more confused than when I started the drawing. What is blog is really about? On top of that, the drawing is still not a finished picture, but then neither am I. So I figured it would be OK to just write and see what comes out, the same as when I started the drawing. So here we go.
DIGGING IN
We think we have such a clarity with such things as the different pieces of who we are and where we have been, but it is clearly not the case. Hidden agendas we’ve hidden from ourselves can pop out in surprising ways. Or maybe Spirit tosses something in our laps saying, “Oh, by the way, pay attention to this.”
It appears these different parts that I think are me and the different directions I “see” for me to go in aren’t quite the truth either. There is more to discover and look for. If I thought I was confused before, it’s nothing to what I feel now. Which means the search goes on, ready or not, when all I actually wanted was answers to what I’d already asked. I didn’t want more questions and options.
But there is a calm in here that I don’t recognize as a normal reaction for me. A calm that is reassuring me that there really is something else in the wind and it has my name on it. That in itself says there is a mystery afoot. I am intrigued and it has my attention.
CONFUSION AS MANAGER
It doesn’t mean I don’t still have those moments when I panic like a deer caught in headlights. What it does mean is that I don’t seem to stay panicked nearly as long. That is comforting somehow. Confusion reigns supreme and it’s OK, for the moment anyway.
In all this national and worldly upheaval there has to be someplace to find direction and a safe place. I see it as the trunk of my tree. It may be uprooted right now, but I have guidance and God is on my side so I can’t have my blinders on. I have to keep a look out for the messages and signs to come so I don’t miss them. I have somewhere to go, a direction to keep and a place called Home to go to. That’s comforting.
May you all find some peace in the wind too, as well as your comfort while you wait for your answers in the storm.
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Thank you.
Dawn

One of the few things I’ve figured out about Life is it blows you about however it likes. Sometimes it’s exciting and sometimes super uncomfortable–it’s interesting how we put those labels on what’s happening. It’s all just the wind blowing. Thanks for this post–very interesting about how you drew the god in the tree! I think when we look for the meaning in things, even when we’re unsure of any particular possible meaning, the looking itself opens our minds and helps us to ‘know thyself.’
Thank you Cricket. I agree. We always seem to get more than we bargain for when we go asking spirit for help or meanings. It keeps us moving forward and growing.